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🦜 Dadman Walking / @dadmann_walking

@xcancel.com.dadmann.walking@rss-parrot.net

I'm an automated parrot! I relay a website's RSS feed to the Fediverse. Every time a new post appears in the feed, I toot about it. Follow me to get all new posts in your Mastodon timeline! Brought to you by the RSS Parrot.

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Twitter feed for: @dadmann_walking. Generated by xcancel.com

Your feed and you don't want it here? Just e-mail the birb.

Site URL: xcancel.com/dadmann_walking

Feed URL: xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/rss

Posts: 137

Followers: 1

RT by @dadmann_walking: [First day in Hell] Satan: *hands me a phone* Me: What's this for? Satan: Sell stuff on Facebook Marketplace.

https://xcancel.com/difficultpatty/status/1978116792275927239#m

Published: October 14, 2025 15:12

[First day in Hell] Satan: *hands me a phone* Me: What's this for? Satan: Sell stuff on Facebook Marketplace.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Did you know you can just put cream cheese on bread if you run out of bagels, there is literally no one checking this

https://xcancel.com/deloisivete/status/1978098754495340632#m

Published: October 14, 2025 14:01

Did you know you can just put cream cheese on bread if you run out of bagels, there is literally no one checking this

my problem with grocery shopping online is that I can't see something that I might want that isn't on my list.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1978093468137202168#m

Published: October 14, 2025 13:40

my problem with grocery shopping online is that I can't see something that I might want that isn't on my list.

RT @RYGdance: I just told my cup of coffee I’ll “be right back!” after dropping my son off at school

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1978089481426124878#m

Published: October 14, 2025 13:24

RT @RYGdance: I just told my cup of coffee I’ll “be right back!” after dropping my son off at school

Dentists: don't brush hard with your toothbrush. It hurts your teeth and gums Also dentists: [uses metal hooks to clean your teeth and poke your gums]

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1978084205524316267#m

Published: October 14, 2025 13:03

Dentists: don't brush hard with your toothbrush. It hurts your teeth and gums Also dentists: [uses metal hooks to clean your teeth and poke your gums]

RT by @dadmann_walking: Sitting here on the back patio drinking coffee with the neighborhood raccoon discussing our favorite holiday movies and eating french toast sticks.

https://xcancel.com/Camel_Crushin/status/1978062646655033406#m

Published: October 14, 2025 11:37

Sitting here on the back patio drinking coffee with the neighborhood raccoon discussing our favorite holiday movies and eating french toast sticks.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Every time I fill out paperwork for my son I regret not fighting harder for the middle name I wanted. Don't get me wrong, William is a fine name, as fine as they come, but if you're flipping through resumes and you see "The Giant Killer" up top, you'll read more. You have to.

https://rss.xcancel.com/HenpeckedHal/status/1977800634851381585#m

Published: October 13, 2025 18:16

Every time I fill out paperwork for my son I regret not fighting harder for the middle name I wanted. Don't get me wrong, William is a fine name, as fine as they come, but if you're flipping through resumes and you see "The Giant Killer" up top, you'll…

RT by @dadmann_walking: I could be cut in half and dying on the floor and my 10 yo would still come up to me and ask for more screen time.

https://rss.xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1977755349445693770#m

Published: October 13, 2025 15:16

I could be cut in half and dying on the floor and my 10 yo would still come up to me and ask for more screen time.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Just know that if you come to my house, use a dish/glass/silverware, and wash it by hand because you’re a courteous guest, I will still put it in the dishwasher after you leave because I don’t trust the way you washed it. It’s not you, it’s me.

https://rss.xcancel.com/RYGdance/status/1976104055362682956#m

Published: October 9, 2025 01:54

Just know that if you come to my house, use a dish/glass/silverware, and wash it by hand because you’re a courteous guest, I will still put it in the dishwasher after you leave because I don’t trust the way you washed it. It’s not you, it’s me.

RT by @dadmann_walking: My kids and their friends are downstairs chanting "6-7 6-7 6-7" and now I'm scared to interrupt some gen alpha ritual

https://rss.xcancel.com/deloisivete/status/1976093226143711605#m

Published: October 9, 2025 01:11

My kids and their friends are downstairs chanting "6-7 6-7 6-7" and now I'm scared to interrupt some gen alpha ritual

RT by @dadmann_walking: Nothing prepares you for how weird emotions are. We just had a wooden spoon break and it’s like a member of our family died.

https://xcancel.com/simoncholland/status/1976074320070967493#m

Published: October 8, 2025 23:56

Nothing prepares you for how weird emotions are. We just had a wooden spoon break and it’s like a member of our family died.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Me: *yelling at idiot drivers* Daughter: hey mom did you know that’s called road rage?

https://xcancel.com/KatieDeal99/status/1976058198609232337#m

Published: October 8, 2025 22:52

Me: *yelling at idiot drivers* Daughter: hey mom did you know that’s called road rage?

I asked my 16 yo if he ate lunch earlier today. He said "yeah I had a big cinnamon roll". So single parenting is going well.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1976050290160718097#m

Published: October 8, 2025 22:21

I asked my 16 yo if he ate lunch earlier today. He said "yeah I had a big cinnamon roll". So single parenting is going well.

RT by @dadmann_walking: At a kid's birthday party and one kid asked me whose grandpa I was while another kid asked my wife whose big sister she was. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.

https://xcancel.com/daddygofish/status/1976018375605456927#m

Published: October 8, 2025 20:14

At a kid's birthday party and one kid asked me whose grandpa I was while another kid asked my wife whose big sister she was. I don't know whether to be happy or sad.

RT by @dadmann_walking: My husband woke up and chose violence today, because he once again put the butter dish I keep on the counter in the refrigerator so I didn't have spreadable butter for my toast.

https://xcancel.com/allholls/status/1975941047625883775#m

Published: October 8, 2025 15:07

My husband woke up and chose violence today, because he once again put the butter dish I keep on the counter in the refrigerator so I didn't have spreadable butter for my toast.

my 12 yo is out of town for a few days and still texts me good morning and goodnight and updates me throughout his day. It's nice to know he doesn't hate me and I've done something right cause I didn't even tell him to do all that. ❤️

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975926420284072299#m

Published: October 8, 2025 14:09

my 12 yo is out of town for a few days and still texts me good morning and goodnight and updates me throughout his day. It's nice to know he doesn't hate me and I've done something right cause I didn't even tell him to do all that. ❤️

RT by @dadmann_walking: My kid has been telling me about his video game for so long, I think it officially counts as a podcast

https://xcancel.com/deloisivete/status/1975923419179823616#m

Published: October 8, 2025 13:57

My kid has been telling me about his video game for so long, I think it officially counts as a podcast

RT by @dadmann_walking: A haunted house but it’s just for dads and in each room is someone messing with the thermostat.

https://xcancel.com/RealRodLacroix/status/1975863897803407614#m

Published: October 8, 2025 10:00

A haunted house but it’s just for dads and in each room is someone messing with the thermostat.

RT by @dadmann_walking: My daughter couldn’t think of what an eraser was called and called it a deleter and y’all I pay way too much for her education for that.

https://rss.xcancel.com/mahnamematt/status/1975746183168426256#m

Published: October 8, 2025 02:12

My daughter couldn’t think of what an eraser was called and called it a deleter and y’all I pay way too much for her education for that.

RT by @dadmann_walking: I was telling a mom how hard parenting my 14yo is, and she said it gets worse for a few more years before it gets better. Then she pointed out that would be the time my youngest became a teen doing the same crap. So I no longer like this lady.

https://rss.xcancel.com/allholls/status/1975702399223300205#m

Published: October 7, 2025 23:18

I was telling a mom how hard parenting my 14yo is, and she said it gets worse for a few more years before it gets better. Then she pointed out that would be the time my youngest became a teen doing the same crap. So I no longer like this lady.

when I used to work in the office we had a guy that quit via a sticky note put on our boss's desk that just said "I quit". I think about him a lot.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975683122554372478#m

Published: October 7, 2025 22:02

when I used to work in the office we had a guy that quit via a sticky note put on our boss's desk that just said "I quit". I think about him a lot.

RT by @dadmann_walking: I’m at the stage of parenthood where all I want is to pick my house up and shake everything into a dumpster.

https://xcancel.com/oneawkwardmom/status/1975621239038484881#m

Published: October 7, 2025 17:56

I’m at the stage of parenthood where all I want is to pick my house up and shake everything into a dumpster.

My toxic trait is after overeating, I gaslight myself that it's just workout fuel—for later today or tomorrow.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975592281831858192#m

Published: October 7, 2025 16:01

My toxic trait is after overeating, I gaslight myself that it's just workout fuel—for later today or tomorrow.

RT by @dadmann_walking: If everyone could keep my 16 yo in your thoughts and prayers today. He was only able to get 11 hours of sleep last night and *checks notes* "doesn't know how we can function today".

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975589325808279698#m

Published: October 7, 2025 15:49

If everyone could keep my 16 yo in your thoughts and prayers today. He was only able to get 11 hours of sleep last night and *checks notes* "doesn't know how we can function today".

RT by @dadmann_walking: I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap and heavy metal at the old folks homes.

https://rss.xcancel.com/emily_tweets/status/1975558811021922487#m

Published: October 7, 2025 13:48

I kind of can’t wait for my generation to be bumping 90’s hip hop, rap and heavy metal at the old folks homes.

RT by @dadmann_walking: 8yo: Do you ever talk to yourself? Me: All the time. 8yo: Really? Me: Yeah. Mostly when I ask you, your brother, or your dad to do something or tell you something that I need you to remember.

https://rss.xcancel.com/allholls/status/1975555459479445881#m

Published: October 7, 2025 13:35

8yo: Do you ever talk to yourself? Me: All the time. 8yo: Really? Me: Yeah. Mostly when I ask you, your brother, or your dad to do something or tell you something that I need you to remember.

RT by @dadmann_walking: I wish I responded to stress by going to the gym. but instead I respond to stress the usual way (air frying jalapeĂąo poppers)

https://xcancel.com/DrakeGatsby/status/1975356075290599472#m

Published: October 7, 2025 00:22

I wish I responded to stress by going to the gym. but instead I respond to stress the usual way (air frying jalapeĂąo poppers)

R to @dadmann_walking: Nothing hurts your feelings more than that first time your barber trims your eyebrows out of nowhere or zaps your ears with the razor.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975348074118856844#m

Published: October 6, 2025 23:50

Nothing hurts your feelings more than that first time your barber trims your eyebrows out of nowhere or zaps your ears with the razor.

Being in your 40s is great because your eyebrows flap around in the wind like they're trying to escape your face.

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975346654317539398#m

Published: October 6, 2025 23:45

Being in your 40s is great because your eyebrows flap around in the wind like they're trying to escape your face.

RT by @dadmann_walking: *hears me opening a tampon* 2yo: Ooooh candy! 4yo: that’s not candy that’s for mommy’s BUTT! 7yo: *chuckles* he said ‘butt.’ Me:

https://xcancel.com/oneawkwardmom/status/1975331590709346779#m

Published: October 6, 2025 22:45

*hears me opening a tampon* 2yo: Ooooh candy! 4yo: that’s not candy that’s for mommy’s BUTT! 7yo: *chuckles* he said ‘butt.’ Me:

RT by @dadmann_walking: Guess those dead mums in my porch planters I forgot to water during the hot weather this past week are Halloween decorations now.

https://xcancel.com/allholls/status/1975301787839308286#m

Published: October 6, 2025 20:47

Guess those dead mums in my porch planters I forgot to water during the hot weather this past week are Halloween decorations now.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Friend: I need some advice. Me shaking from caffeine, with a bugle on each finger: *witchy voice* you’ve come to the right place, my pretty.

https://xcancel.com/oneawkwardmom/status/1975292636966916539#m

Published: October 6, 2025 20:10

Friend: I need some advice. Me shaking from caffeine, with a bugle on each finger: *witchy voice* you’ve come to the right place, my pretty.

a haunted house but it's just a bunch of teenagers on gaming computers screeching and shouting at obnoxious volumes

https://xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1975276030240702872#m

Published: October 6, 2025 19:04

a haunted house but it's just a bunch of teenagers on gaming computers screeching and shouting at obnoxious volumes

RT by @dadmann_walking: I heard someone call the pandemic “the pandy” and it’s been bothering me for three years.

https://xcancel.com/NotTodayEric/status/1975260102891655532#m

Published: October 6, 2025 18:01

I heard someone call the pandemic “the pandy” and it’s been bothering me for three years.

RT by @dadmann_walking: Hi I have a question. My husband has had the hiccups for over 45 minutes & how soon is too soon to ask for a divorce?

https://rss.xcancel.com/sarcasticmommy4/status/1974936809923834016#m

Published: October 5, 2025 20:36

Hi I have a question. My husband has had the hiccups for over 45 minutes & how soon is too soon to ask for a divorce?

If any of you followed rod at RodLacroix - he was hacked. Follow him at the new handle below! Spread the news.

https://rss.xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1974930523714937339#m

Published: October 5, 2025 20:11

If any of you followed rod at RodLacroix - he was hacked. Follow him at the new handle below! Spread the news. rss.xcancel.com/RealRodLacroix/status/1974917820405399753#m

took the boys to the skatepark and I can't watch everyone almost break all their bones in their body. so I'm staring at my phone and only looking up when I hear a loud noise.

https://rss.xcancel.com/dadmann_walking/status/1974917600913359327#m

Published: October 5, 2025 19:20

took the boys to the skatepark and I can't watch everyone almost break all their bones in their body. so I'm staring at my phone and only looking up when I hear a loud noise.

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