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Four humorous quotations each day from The Quotations Page

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Site URL: www.quotationspage.com/qotd.html

Feed URL: feeds.feedburner.com/quotationspage/qotd

Posts: 52

Followers: 7

Arthur C. Clarke

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Arthur_C._Clarke

Published: July 24, 2026 00:00

"Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic."

Rita Rudner

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Rita_Rudner

Published: July 24, 2026 00:00

"Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be."

Terence

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Terence

Published: July 24, 2026 00:00

"Nothing is said that has not been said before."

Vince Lombardi

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Vince_Lombardi

Published: July 24, 2026 00:00

"If winning isn't everything, why do they keep score?"

John Maynard Keynes

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/John_Maynard_Keynes

Published: July 23, 2026 00:00

"I do not know which makes a man more conservative—to know nothing but the present, or nothing but the past."

James Thurber

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/James_Thurber

Published: July 23, 2026 00:00

"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself."

George Bernard Shaw

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/George_Bernard_Shaw

Published: July 23, 2026 00:00

"All great truths begin as blasphemies."

G. K. Chesterton

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/G._K._Chesterton

Published: July 23, 2026 00:00

"Journalism largely consists of saying 'Lord Jones is Dead' to people who never knew that Lord Jones was alive."

Aldous Huxley

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Aldous_Huxley

Published: July 22, 2026 00:00

"An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex."

Arnold Lobel

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Arnold_Lobel

Published: July 22, 2026 00:00

"Books to the ceiling,/ Books to the sky,/ My pile of books is a mile high./ How I love them! How I need them!/ I'll have a long beard by the time I read them."

Albert Einstein

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Albert_Einstein

Published: July 22, 2026 00:00

"The important thing is not to stop questioning."

Lenny Bruce

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Lenny_Bruce

Published: July 22, 2026 00:00

"When you are eight years old, nothing is any of your business."

Groucho Marx

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Groucho_Marx

Published: July 21, 2026 00:00

"From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it."

Saki

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Saki

Published: July 21, 2026 00:00

"Addresses are given to us to conceal our whereabouts."

Samuel Butler

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Samuel_Butler

Published: July 21, 2026 00:00

"Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them."

David Hoselton

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/David_Hoselton

Published: July 21, 2026 00:00

"I'm a jerk to everyone. Best way to protect yourself from lawsuits."

unknown

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/unknown

Published: July 20, 2026 00:00

"Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equipped with 18,000 vacuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1.5 tons."

Evan Esar

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Evan_Esar

Published: July 20, 2026 00:00

"Anger is the feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind."

Al Capp

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Al_Capp

Published: July 20, 2026 00:00

"[Abstract art is] a product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered."

Graffito

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Graffito

Published: July 20, 2026 00:00

"I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck."

Robert Benchley

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Robert_Benchley

Published: July 19, 2026 00:00

"A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down."

Edward R. Murrow

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Edward_R._Murrow

Published: July 19, 2026 00:00

"When the politicians complain that TV turns the proceedings into a circus, it should be made clear that the circus was already there, and that TV has merely demonstrated that not all the performers are well trained."

Calvin Trillin

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Calvin_Trillin

Published: July 19, 2026 00:00

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."

Anatole France

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Anatole_France

Published: July 19, 2026 00:00

"People who have no weaknesses are terrible; there is no way of taking advantage of them."

P. J. O'Rourke

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/P._J._O%27Rourke

Published: July 18, 2026 00:00

"The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop."

Kilgore Trout

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Kilgore_Trout

Published: July 18, 2026 00:00

"The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest."

Jeff Valdez

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Jeff_Valdez

Published: July 18, 2026 00:00

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow."

Ronald Reagan

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Ronald_Reagan

Published: July 18, 2026 00:00

"Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first."

E. B. White

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/E._B._White

Published: July 17, 2026 00:00

"Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind."

Jerome K. Jerome

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Jerome_K._Jerome

Published: July 17, 2026 00:00

"I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours."

Muhammad Ali

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Muhammad_Ali

Published: July 17, 2026 00:00

"My toughest fight was with my first wife."

Alfred North Whitehead

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Alfred_North_Whitehead

Published: July 17, 2026 00:00

"There are no whole truths; all truths are half- truths. It is trying to treat them as whole truths that plays the devil."

Laurence J. Peter

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Laurence_J._Peter

Published: July 16, 2026 00:00

"Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent."

R. A. Butler

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/R._A._Butler

Published: July 16, 2026 00:00

"In politics you must always keep running with the pack. The moment that you falter and they sense that you are injured, the rest will turn on you like wolves."

George Orwell

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/George_Orwell

Published: July 16, 2026 00:00

"The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns as it were instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish spurting out ink."

Will Rogers

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Will_Rogers

Published: July 16, 2026 00:00

"There ought to be one day-- just one-- when there is open season on senators."

David Letterman

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/David_Letterman

Published: July 15, 2026 00:00

"I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious."

Antoine de Saint-Exupery

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Antoine_de_Saint-Exupery

Published: July 15, 2026 00:00

"Language is the source of misunderstandings."

David Frost

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/David_Frost

Published: July 15, 2026 00:00

"Television enables you to be entertained in your home by people you wouldn't have in your home."

H. H. Williams

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/H._H._Williams

Published: July 15, 2026 00:00

"Furious activity is no substitute for understanding."

Mark Twain

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Mark_Twain

Published: July 14, 2026 00:00

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

Charles McCabe

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Charles_McCabe

Published: July 14, 2026 00:00

"McCabe's Law: Nobody _has_ to do _anything_."

Demetri Martin

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Demetri_Martin

Published: July 14, 2026 00:00

"I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert."

Harrison Ford

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Harrison_Ford

Published: July 14, 2026 00:00

"Nothing shocks me. I'm a scientist."

H. L. Mencken

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/H._L._Mencken

Published: July 13, 2026 00:00

"The government consists of a gang of men exactly like you and me. They have, taking one with another, no special talent for the business of government; they have only a talent for getting and holding office."

Buck Henry

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Buck_Henry

Published: July 13, 2026 00:00

"We need a president who's fluent in at least one language."

Isaac Asimov

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Isaac_Asimov

Published: July 13, 2026 00:00

"I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them."

Ronnie Shakes

http://www.quotationspage.com/quotes/Ronnie_Shakes

Published: July 13, 2026 00:00

"I was going to buy a copy of The Power of Positive Thinking, and then I thought: What the hell good would that do?"