RSS Parrot

Army FRG unveils haunted house featuring spouses saying ‘I’m fine’

https://www.duffelblog.com/army-frg-unveils-haunted-house-featuring-spouses-saying-im-fine/

Published: October 28, 2026 12:00

Soldiers describe Halloween attraction as more frightening than combat deployment

Hasan execution venue double-booked with Comic-Con

https://www.duffelblog.com/hasan-execution-venue-double-booked-with-comic-con/

Published: October 26, 2026 12:00

Army officials insist neither event can be rescheduled without losing deposit

Trump announces sale of Patriot missiles to Russia

https://www.duffelblog.com/trump-announces-sale-of-patriot-missiles-to-russia/

Published: October 23, 2026 12:00

White House says deal will help Moscow defend itself from Ukrainian aggression

Hegseth consults God via dumpster fire behind Pentagon

https://www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-consults-god-thru-dumpster-fire-behind-pentagon/

Published: October 21, 2026 12:00

Secretary says God commanded him to invade Greenland, restore Christian values

US to livestream execution of Ukraine

https://www.duffelblog.com/us-to-livestream-execution-of-ukraine/

Published: October 19, 2026 12:00

White House promises largest pay-per-view military event in history

Iran condemns US plan to livestream execution as barbaric

https://www.duffelblog.com/iran-condemns-us-plan-to-livestream-execution-as-barbaric/

Published: October 16, 2026 12:00

Tehran questions whether America has completely abandoned standards of human decency

Vetbro apparel company pivots from stupid shirts to aggressively homoerotic ones

https://www.duffelblog.com/vetbro-apparel-company-pivots-from-stupid-shirts-to-aggressively-homoerotic-ones/

Published: October 14, 2026 12:00

AUSTIN, Texas — Veteran-owned apparel company ValorThreads Frontline Mission Tee-riffic announced this week it would pivot away from merely producing the stupidest shirts anyone has ever seen and toward producing the stupidest shirts anyone has ever seen…

AI deemed ‘too smart’ to replace infantry

https://www.duffelblog.com/ai-deemed-too-smart-to-replace-infantry/

Published: October 12, 2026 12:00

Prototype proved too competent, financially responsible for infantry service

Hegseth opens up new TradWife MOS

https://www.duffelblog.com/hegseth-opens-up-new-tradwife-mos/

Published: October 9, 2026 12:00

Army says new career field will allow warfighters to focus on lethality while someone else remembers the kids

DTS works properly after hack by rogue AI

https://www.duffelblog.com/dts-works-properly-after-hack-by-rogue-ai/

Published: October 7, 2026 12:00

Pentagon scrambling to restore slow load times, incomprehensible errors and traditional user experience

Lincoln sailor returning from deployment already broke

https://www.duffelblog.com/lincoln-sailor-returning-from-deployment-already-broke/

Published: October 5, 2026 12:00

Financial counselors unable to determine where approximately 10 months of pay went

Paste-eating Marine praised for unmatched commitment to unit

https://www.duffelblog.com/paste-eating-marine-praised-for-unmatched-commitment-to-unit/

Published: October 2, 2026 12:00

Unit leaders say his ability to stick with the mission is unmatched

Backed-up toilet appointed new Secretary of the Army

https://www.duffelblog.com/secretary-of-army-nominee/

Published: September 30, 2026 12:00

Pentagon says clogged fixture brings “continuity, stability and ability to swallow enormous amounts of shit”

Space Force’s new uniform puts a little goose back in the step

https://www.duffelblog.com/space-force-uniform/

Published: September 28, 2026 12:00

White House says redesign projects discipline, strength and “absolutely no historical parallels”

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

https://www.duffelblog.com/military-leaders-debate-who-gets-to-masturbate-first-in-sniper-arch/

Published: September 25, 2026 12:00

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument