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Site URL: www.askamanager.org/
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Posts: 48
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weekend open thread – November 15-16, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/weekend-open-thread-november-15-16-2025.html
Published: November 15, 2025 00:07
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Grace & Henry’s Holiday Movie Marathon, by Matthew Norman.…
open thread – November 14, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/open-thread-november-14-2025.html
Published: November 14, 2025 16:00
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*,…
“don’t bring problems without solutions,” coworker is upset that I got the promotion he wanted, and more
Published: November 14, 2025 05:03
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Managers who don’t want to hear about problems without solutions Why do managers tell employees to only bring them solutions, not problems? I hear this a lot, and I’m not sure I get it. I understand that…
what questions should I ask in an internal interview with people I already work with?
Published: November 13, 2025 18:59
A reader writes: I’m fairly new to the workforce (~3 years) and, between a time-limited paid fellowship and moving cities for grad school, I’ve changed jobs a couple of times. My current role is the first time I’ve been eligible to apply for a new role…
a new employee has gone AWOL
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/a-new-employee-has-gone-awol.html
Published: November 13, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: My husband, Jim, is a managing attorney at a small firm that is entirely remote, with lawyers spread out across the region. He recently hired a mid-level attorney, Fergus, who is based in a different city and who reports directly to him.…
let’s hear from people who didn’t find their career paths until after 40
Published: November 13, 2025 15:59
It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: This is half-question, half-plea. I’d love to hear from readers who didn’t get into a fulfilling / interesting / creative / what-you-actually-want-to-do career until after age 40. I’m having a…
coworker is being really weird about our breaks, are “employee of the month” awards useful, and more
Published: November 13, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Fire one employee, both employees, or no one? I am an assistant manager at a chain restaurant. There are two employees who should be fired due to violating our call-out policy, which is two NCNS (no call,…
the fake charity, the Photoshop predator, and other times AI got it wrong
Published: November 12, 2025 18:59
We recently talked about times AI got it really wrong, and here are 20 of the most ridiculous stories you shared. 1. The fake initiative Our execs usually send out a hype email right before the annual employee morale survey, emphasizing wins from the past…
what to do if ICE agents come to your workplace
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/what-to-do-if-ice-agents-come-to-your-workplace.html
Published: November 12, 2025 17:29
With aggressive ICE raids expanding to an increasing number of cities, I’m sharing the following guidance from a community organizer in Chicago about what to do if ICE shows up at your workplace. I’m in Chicago, which has been targeted aggressively by ICE…
how should I manage someone who uses the Gen Z stare?
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/how-should-i-manage-someone-who-uses-the-gen-z-stare.html
Published: November 12, 2025 15:59
A reader writes: I have been managing a corporate team for a little under a year, and I’ve gotten to know them all over the last few months. One employee, Sally, is smart, quiet, and a hard worker. However, when I talk to her, I started noticing that I was…
husband says it’s inappropriate to dine or carpool with my boss, bowing out of a cooking competition, and more
Published: November 12, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My husband says it’s inappropriate to dine or carpool with my boss I have a great relationship with my boss. He is incredibly supportive of my professional growth and is a good mentor. We work well…
my coworkers have a crush on my boss … and are taking it out on me
Published: November 11, 2025 18:59
I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I’m the executive assistant for a small company. I’m the direct support for the VP of human resources, “Dave,” who is very charismatic and…
I made a gift guide for each employee on your team
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/i-made-a-gift-guide-for-each-employee-on-your-team.html
Published: November 11, 2025 17:42
If you’re the boss, finding the right gifts for your employees can be fraught with questions: How much do you spend? Should you spend the same amount of money on each person? And if you don’t know someone well, how do you make sure they like the gift while…
my coworker is blackmailing me not to take time off for my honeymoon
Published: November 11, 2025 15:59
I’m off today so here’s an older post from the archives. This was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: I work in an office where I’m the only person who can do 75% of my job, but there’s a second person who can do essential functions. We have a…
should you hire employees to babysit, locker room etiquette when your gym is full of coworkers, and more
Published: November 11, 2025 05:03
I’m off today. Here are some past letters that I’m making new again, rather than leaving them to wilt in the archives. 1. Should you hire employees to babysit? I help supervise a group of about 20 student workers at a college. Most of them know I have a…
I got an abusive message from an email subscriber — should I let his employer know?
Published: November 10, 2025 18:59
A reader writes: I run outbound marketing for a tech startup serving founders and salespeople. We often send promotional/announcement emails from my email address to subscribers who have opted in to receive our updates. We recently sent a very harmless and…
my employee might be working a second job during our workday
Published: November 10, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: I recently took over managing a team, and have some concerns about one of my employees, John, who was hired by my predecessor. He is pretty good at what he does, but he is super slow at producing finished work. He rarely meets deadlines…
I’m managing an employee through a PIP — and it’s really hard
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/im-managing-an-employee-through-a-pip-and-its-really-hard.html
Published: November 10, 2025 15:59
A reader writes: For the past several years, I’ve been managing an employee whose work has oscillated between “acceptable but not great” and “does not meet expectations.” In that time, we’ve navigated all the steps HR and I could think of to help her…
our board member got scammed, I’m the only one who has to wear a uniform, and more
Published: November 10, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. What’s our responsibility when a board member gets scammed? I just joined the board of a nonprofit and at my very first meeting today learned about a mess that we’re in. There are about a dozen members of…
weekend open thread – November 8-9, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/weekend-open-thread-november-8-9-2025.html
Published: November 8, 2025 00:07
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: Nobody’s Girl, by Virginia Roberts Giuffre. It’s an…
open thread – November 7, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/open-thread-november-7-2025.html
Published: November 7, 2025 16:00
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*,…
boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible, mandatory birthday contributions, and more
Published: November 7, 2025 05:03
It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Boss doesn’t care that new office isn’t accessible I work in a director-level position for a center of a large university. We have experienced significant reductions in staffing following budget cuts and…
how do I use alumni contacts in my job search?
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/how-do-i-use-alumni-contacts-in-my-job-search.html
Published: November 6, 2025 18:59
A reader writes: I’m job searching, and I often come across jobs where alumni of my college currently work. If I don’t know the person/people, how would I ask for their help in getting an interview or anything else related to the job I’ve applied to? I…
how much do I need to accommodate employees’ religion?
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/how-much-do-i-need-to-accommodate-employees-religion.html
Published: November 6, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: I was curious about where the line is on religious accommodation, and at what point it’s okay to say an accommodation cannot be made. I had an employee who needed an accommodation that allowed them to take lunch at a different time from…
when office potlucks and catered parties go wrong
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/when-office-potlucks-and-catered-parties-go-wrong-3.html
Published: November 6, 2025 15:59
As we approach to the season of office potlucks, catered parties, and other holiday meals with coworkers, let’s discuss the many ways in which they can go wrong — from alarming cuisine to cheap-ass rolls to riots over the chili cook-off to tantrums over…
I can’t shake my crush on a former coworker, using vacation time at a new job, and more
Published: November 6, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I can’t shake my crush on a former coworker I try not to view my coworkers as romantic prospects for the obvious reasons (women come to work to advance their careers, not to cater to the romantic whims of…
the shoe dryer, the wake-up service, and more ridiculous “other duties as assigned”
Published: November 5, 2025 18:59
Last month we talked about “other duties as assigned” — things you’ve been asked to do at work that were wildly outside of your job description. Here are 15 of my favorite stories that you shared. 1. The handmade crafts I had a manager whose in-laws held a…
how much of a red flag is it if a job candidate was fired twice previously?
Published: November 5, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: I am hiring for a position that is fairly entry-level office work. A candidate, who is fairly young, lists two positions in the past decade which they were fired from. They were post-college full-time positions, not high school summer jobs…
I was written up for having a visible thong outside of work
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/i-was-written-up-for-having-a-visible-thong-outside-of-work.html
Published: November 5, 2025 15:59
A reader writes: In my free time, I love going to this nightclub by my apartment building. They have parties monthly based on different eras such as the 80s, 90s, and the 2000s. In the past year, I have gone to three 2000s parties, and the guests attending…
I have to co-manage with my husband, coworker talks with his mouth full, and more
Published: November 5, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I have to co-manage with my husband My husband and I work for the same organization and live in a VERY small tourist town in the U.S. (~600 year-round residents and we live about an hour from a Wal-Mart…
my boss is furious that I was honest with my employee about our concerns with his work
Published: November 4, 2025 18:59
A reader writes: My reason for writing stems from a recent situation where I was meeting with my direct report, Lucas, to discuss an idea he came up with. It was a great idea, so I commended him for it and told my boss about it too to give Lucas more…
how can we help coworkers who are losing food benefits?
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/how-can-we-help-employees-who-are-losing-food-benefits.html
Published: November 4, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: Hopefully this is a non-issue very soon, but I was wondering what ideas you’ve encountered or heard of that might be helpful. I am a manager of a small to medium-sized federal office. We are in furlough but required to work. While most of…
I have to work closely with an ex-friend who “broke up” with our whole friend group
Published: November 4, 2025 15:59
A reader writes: I started at my company about five years ago after being laid off from my previous company due to Covid. Once I started here, I was shocked to discover that one of my old friends (Susan) who I was very close to in college (which I had…
should you put fan fiction on your resume, can I avoid my boss at the company party, and more
Published: November 4, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Should you put fan fiction on your resume? I saw someone online saying that they write fan fiction at Ao3 and so on their resume they put “independent fiction writer” or “independent online publishing…
my employee chewed out local officials at a business event
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/my-employee-chewed-out-local-officials-at-a-business-event.html
Published: November 3, 2025 18:59
A reader writes: Our local business group/Chamber of Commerce had a luncheon today to hand out awards to the business community. My business was nominated and picked for an award. As I only have four employees, I closed the business for the afternoon and…
my employee overdoes everything, and it’s costing too much money
Published: November 3, 2025 17:29
A reader writes: I run a small business that supplies a product to major companies. To keep the details anonymous, let’s say that we supply garments to a few mid-tier clothing retailers that you can buy in the mall. The problem is that one of my employees…
I was the abusive boss
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/11/i-was-the-abusive-boss.html
Published: November 3, 2025 15:59
A reader writes: I found your site a few months ago after receiving an angry, almost violent letter from a former employee of mine. I used to own and operate a small bed and breakfast in a resort community. She was a maid, cook, and sometimes bookkeeper. I…
coworker leaves her teenager in our office, company says no one can give us references, and more
Published: November 3, 2025 05:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My coworker leaves her teenager in our office while she’s gone I will preface this by saying I work in a toxic environment with an an extremely toxic boss, so I know some of what’s going on isn’t normal.…
weekend open thread – November 1-2, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/weekend-open-thread-november-1-2-2025.html
Published: October 31, 2025 23:07
This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: What Is Wrong With You? by Paul Rudnick. Both funny and…
open thread – October 31, 2025
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/open-thread-october-31-2025.html
Published: October 31, 2025 15:00
It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*,…
grisly decorations, wearing a costume to an interview, and other questions about Halloween at work
Published: October 31, 2025 04:03
It’s Halloween! Let’s revisit some Halloween questions from past years. 1. My coworker goes overboard with grisly Halloween decorations People in our office go bonkers over Halloween. Recently we were encouraged to decorate for Halloween. I would take that…
my job wants me to be both an employee and a contractor
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/my-job-wants-me-to-be-both-an-employee-and-a-contractor.html
Published: October 30, 2025 17:59
A reader writes: I’ve worked part-time at this company for a little over a year. It’s my first job out of college. I work in events, so my hours can vary wildly — during the weeks leading up to an event, I can be working 35-45 hours a week, but the slow…
the belligerent unicorn, the inappropriate vampire, and other stories of Halloween at work
Published: October 30, 2025 16:29
In honor of Halloween tomorrow, here are eight of my favorite stories about Halloween at work that have been shared here over the years. 1. The costume tradition For close to 15 years now, dressing up as one of your coworkers has been a Halloween tradition…
AI gone wild: let’s discuss times AI got it really wrong
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/ai-gone-wild-lets-discuss-times-ai-got-it-really-wrong.html
Published: October 30, 2025 14:59
In response to last week’s letter about a manager who didn’t want people using AI for note-taking at meetings, some readers shared particularly ridiculous firsthand examples of AI getting it wrong. For example: • Ours once transcribed a side conversation…
boss is dating his former assistant, colleague is openly rude, and more
Published: October 30, 2025 04:03
It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss is dating his former assistant, who still works here I have been an assistant for over a decade. I love the work I do. In January, I started a new role supporting the CEO of a mid-size company —…
I’m taking extended leave and management has zero coverage plans
Published: October 29, 2025 17:59
A reader writes: I’m going on extended leave in six weeks and there is zero — I mean zero 00 — coverage lined up. I lead a team responsible for delivering a major client contract. Management has been aware of my plans for months but interviews start this…
how can I let employees know it’s OK to tell me “no”?
https://www.askamanager.org/2025/10/how-can-i-let-employees-know-its-ok-to-tell-me-no.html
Published: October 29, 2025 16:29
A reader writes: I manage some junior team members who are right out of college. One thing I have noticed is that they have a hard time saying no when I ask request something from them — as in, “Can this be done today?” or “Do you think this is a good…
my employee is upset she wasn’t promoted — and senior management is noticing her attitude
Published: October 29, 2025 14:59
A reader writes: I am a manager of a small team at a midsize company. Recently, one of my best performers (Jan) had a dip in morale. During Q4, we had an opening come up that would be a small promotion for her, but we were told we couldn’t fill it until…