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News you can believe in
Site URL: theshovel.com.au/
Feed URL: www.theshovel.com.au/feed/rss
Posts: 32
Followers: 6
Felon Seen Trying to Enter White House
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/21/felon-seen-trying-to-enter-white-house/
Published: January 20, 2025 20:43
It is unclear how the man, who has a known criminal record, and has made multiple and credible threats of violence in the past, was able to pass into the building unchallenged. The post Felon Seen Trying to Enter White House appeared first on The Shovel.
Hot Singles in Your Area Say Thereās Definitely No Need for Fact-Checking on Social Media
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/20/hot-singles-in-your-area-say-no-need-for-fact-checking/
Published: January 20, 2025 00:24
Cindy Valentine, real name Darryl, said verifying every single little detail online was for losers and wasted valuable time that we could spend chatting right now. The post Hot Singles in Your Area Say Thereās Definitely No Need for Fact-Checking on Socialā¦
Small Popcorn Just $70
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/17/small-popcorn-just-70/
Published: January 17, 2025 01:16
āOr pair it with a drink and an ice cream for just $11,000" The post Small Popcorn Just $70 appeared first on The Shovel.
Dyslexic Man Relieved Israel Has Finally Called Ceasefire Against His Mate Gazza
Published: January 16, 2025 22:36
"He's done nothing to deserve this" The post Dyslexic Man Relieved Israel Has Finally Called Ceasefire Against His Mate Gazza appeared first on The Shovel.
Trump Promises to Jail Radical Left Climate Extremist Mother Nature āOn Day Oneā
Published: January 15, 2025 23:13
Incoming US President Donald Trump says he will put an end to the disruptions caused by troublemaker Mother Nature, promising to lock up the dissident as soon as he takes office. The post Trump Promises to Jail Radical Left Climate Extremist Mother Natureā¦
Exhausted Australians Now Told They Have to Get on Cabana Property Ladder Too
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/15/exhausted-australians-get-on-cabana-property-ladder/
Published: January 15, 2025 01:14
Worn out from years of being told to buy a house, Australians have now been told they need to get started on building a cabana portfolio at their nearest beach or risk being locked out for ever. The post Exhausted Australians Now Told They Have to Get onā¦
Scott Morrison Fighting Pathological Urge to Fly to LA Wildfires to Shake Hands
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/15/scott-morrison-la-wildfires-shake-hands/
Published: January 14, 2025 23:03
Scott Morrison says he is struggling with every inch of his being not to go on a two-week holiday to Hawaii, wait for the Los Angeles fires to be over, and then fly to the city to forcibly shake someoneās hand. The post Scott Morrison Fighting Pathologicalā¦
Danish Queen Shows Support for Greenland: āI Also Grew Up in a Cold, Miserable Island Ignored by Mainlandersā
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/13/danish-queen-shows-support-for-greenland/
Published: January 12, 2025 23:46
With Greenland under threat from a Trump administration that wants to take over the Danish territory, Denmarkās Queen has come to her subjectsā support. The post Danish Queen Shows Support for Greenland: āI Also Grew Up in a Cold, Miserable Island Ignoredā¦
Elderly Felon to Spend Four Years at Federal Government Institution
Published: January 11, 2025 01:23
A 78-year-old Florida man, who was found guilty of paying hush money to a stripper last year, will spend the next four years housed in a high-security government facility. The post Elderly Felon to Spend Four Years at Federal Government Institutionā¦
Novak Djokovic āPoisonedā in Melbourne Hotel After Accidentally Eating Straight Vegemite
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/10/novak-djokovic-poisoned-in-melbourne-hotel-vegemite/
Published: January 9, 2025 23:39
In an interview with GQ, Djokovic said āI realised that in that hotel in Melbourne I was fed with some food that poisoned me,ā to which the hotel responded, āNah mate, thatās just Vegemite you dickheadā. The post Novak Djokovic āPoisonedā in Melbourneā¦
Australia Offers To Sell New Zealand To Donald Trump ļ»æ
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/08/australia-offers-to-sell-new-zealand-to-us/
Published: January 8, 2025 07:24
A day after Donald Trump said he wanted to take over Greenland, Australia has contacted the incoming President, offering him the chance to purchase New Zealand for a bargain basement price.Ā The post Australia Offers To Sell New Zealand To Donald Trump ļ»æā¦
Trump Announces Plan to Rename Gulf of Mexico āSoccer of Mexicoā, Complaining Mexicans Donāt Even Play Golf
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/08/trump-announces-plan-to-rename-gulf-of-mexico/
Published: January 8, 2025 05:32
President-elect Donald Trump has suggested the body of water to the south-east of the United States be renamed the Soccer of Mexico, given Mexicans are not known for their golfing prowess. The post Trump Announces Plan to Rename Gulf of Mexico āSoccer ofā¦
āAlbanese to Scrap Negative Gearing for Beach Cabanas,ā Dutton Warns
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/07/albanese-to-scrap-negative-gearing-for-beach-cabanas-dutton/
Published: January 7, 2025 05:10
Hours after Anthony Albanese criticised the rise of beach cabanas in Australia, a new scare campaign from the Liberal Party has warned that a re-elected Labor Government would scrap negative gearing for cabanas, triple capital gains tax, and make going toā¦
Pauline Hanson Catches Up With Gina Rinehart in Thailand to Complain About Australia Being Swamped by Asians
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/07/pauline-hanson-catches-up-with-gina-rinehart-in-thailand/
Published: January 6, 2025 22:34
Thailand has been swamped by white, right-wing Australian women The post Pauline Hanson Catches Up With Gina Rinehart in Thailand to Complain About Australia Being Swamped by Asians appeared first on The Shovel.
Jasprit Bumrah Slugged With Hefty Excess Fee for Useless Baggage Heās Had to Carry
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/06/jasprit-bumrah-slugged-with-hefty-excess-fee/
Published: January 6, 2025 06:12
Airline staff reminded Bumrah that his ticket included one piece of checked luggage and two pieces of carry-on, not Virat Kohli, Rohit Sharma and Ravindra Jadeja. The post Jasprit Bumrah Slugged With Hefty Excess Fee for Useless Baggage Heās Had to Carryā¦
Slow Car In Front Announces Plans To Increase Speed For Overtaking Lane
https://theshovel.com.au/2025/01/06/slow-car-in-front-to-increase-speed-for-overtaking-lane/
Published: January 6, 2025 00:19
"Iāll speed up now so no-one can overtake me, then slam on the brakes once weāre down to one lane again" The post Slow Car In Front Announces Plans To Increase Speed For Overtaking Lane appeared first on The Shovel.
Nationās Dads Start Preparing āSee You Next Yearā Jokes
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/29/nations-dad-start-preparing-see-you-next-year-jokes/
Published: December 28, 2024 20:07
With just days until the end of 2024, fathers across the country were today preparing ways to slip their hilarious āsee you next yearā joke into their conversations on New Yearās Eve. The post Nationās Dads Start Preparing āSee You Next Yearā Jokesā¦
Dogs Begin Planning Resolutions for Next 7 Years
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/29/dogs-begin-planning-resolutions-for-next-7-years/
Published: December 28, 2024 20:05
Saying he wanted 2025 to be the best seven years of his life, French Bulldog Trevor was today putting together a list of things he wanted to do differently. The post Dogs Begin Planning Resolutions for Next 7 Years appeared first on The Shovel.
Russia Denies Involvement in Azerbaijani Airlines Crash, Says Plane Fell Out of Hotel Window
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/28/russia-denies-involvement-in-azerbaijani-airlines-crash/
Published: December 28, 2024 00:39
An Azerbaijani Airlines plane was drunk and fell out of a hotel window, before tragically crashing in a ball of flames, the Kremlin has claimed. The post Russia Denies Involvement in Azerbaijani Airlines Crash, Says Plane Fell Out of Hotel Window appearedā¦
Dutton Urges Sydney-Hobart Race to Get Over Wind Obsession and Give Nuclear Yachts a Go
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/26/dutton-sydney-hobart-nuclear-yachts/
Published: December 25, 2024 20:59
At a press conference this morning Dutton announced a plan to shift the famous race to nuclear power, at a cost of just $330 billion. The post Dutton Urges Sydney-Hobart Race to Get Over Wind Obsession and Give Nuclear Yachts a Go appeared first on Theā¦
Chris Minns Announces Plans to Personally Test All Pills at NSW Festivals This Summer
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/20/chris-minns-to-test-all-pills-at-nsw-festivals/
Published: December 19, 2024 22:18
āIād like to make it clear that this particular batch of E is top notch and youāre good to go" The post Chris Minns Announces Plans to Personally Test All Pills at NSW Festivals This Summer appeared first on The Shovel.
Raygun Demands $10K From Kangaroo for Imitating Her Trademark Style
Published: December 19, 2024 04:06
Lawyers asserted that the kangaroo had been seen "acting in a manner that misused the intellectual property of our client, which could have the effect of damaging her brand and ongoing viability as a performer".Ā The post Raygun Demands $10K From Kangarooā¦
Self-Proclaimed āSunshine Stateā Cobbles Together 15 Minutes of Sunshine During Brisbane Test
Published: December 18, 2024 05:35
A state famous for marketing itself as āBeautiful one day perfect the nextā has actually been āPretty fucking ordinary on day one, not too bad on day two, raining on days three and four, and totally washed out by day fiveā. The post Self-Proclaimedā¦
2025 Black Friday Sales to Begin Today
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/18/black-friday-sales-to-begin-today/
Published: December 17, 2024 22:36
āWe want to create a sense of excitement and specialness, by offering an exclusive day of discounts that are only available for eleven and a half months" The post 2025 Black Friday Sales to Begin Today appeared first on The Shovel.
Woman Still in Ticketmaster Queue for Eras Tour Tickets
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/17/woman-still-in-queue-for-eras-tour-tickets/
Published: December 17, 2024 00:05
"I hope there are some good seats left!" The post Woman Still in Ticketmaster Queue for Eras Tour Tickets appeared first on The Shovel.
Family Puts Dead Tree in Corner of Living Room
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/17/weird-family-puts-dead-tree-in-corner-of-living-room/
Published: December 16, 2024 22:00
Saying it was ātraditionā, the Farley family from Brisbane today put a cut-off piece of dead pine tree in a plastic bucket next to their TV. The post Family Puts Dead Tree in Corner of Living Room appeared first on The Shovel.
Peter Dutton Denies Aboriginal Flag Announcement Is Distraction From Blaming Immigrants for Problems Which Canāt Be Solved by Nuclear Power Announcements Designed to Delay Action on Climate Change
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/11/peter-dutton-denies-aboriginal-flag-announcement-is-distraction/
Published: December 11, 2024 00:47
"My position on Aboriginal flags was an entirely different distraction, designed as a diversion from my lack of economic policies, not to be confused with my position on Woolworths not stocking Australia Day flags, which was a distraction from my poorā¦
Aboriginal Flag Relieved Peter Dutton Will No Longer Stand Next to It
Published: December 10, 2024 02:25
An audible sigh of relief was heard from Parliament House's Aboriginal Flag this morning after Peter Dutton announced he would not stand next to it if elected Prime Minister. The post Aboriginal Flag Relieved Peter Dutton Will No Longer Stand Next to Itā¦
National Grid Could Be Entirely Powered by Peter Duttonās Bullshit, CSIRO Finds
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/09/national-grid-powered-by-peter-duttons-bullshit-csiro/
Published: December 8, 2024 23:44
"It is abundant, free and 100% renewable" The post National Grid Could Be Entirely Powered by Peter Duttonās Bullshit, CSIRO Finds appeared first on The Shovel.
Gout Gout One Step Closer to Dream of Being Offered Contract With Central Coast Mariners
https://theshovel.com.au/2024/12/09/gout-gout-central-coast-mariners-contract/
Published: December 8, 2024 22:00
āIf he trains hard, manages to break that 10 second barrier and then goes on to win eight Olympic Gold medals, then who knows what he could achieve? Quite possibly a two-month stint with a mid-tier soccer club in Australia" The post Gout Gout One Stepā¦
āWhy Duttonās Plan for New Flying-Mermaid Cheese Planets Makes Economic Senseā
Published: December 8, 2024 21:29
A guest post by The Australianās Economics Editor, Judy Scone āThis week Peter Dutton released his much-anticipated plan to build a hundred new planets out of cheese by 2035. It was a relief to finally see a mature proposal put forward for solvingā¦
UnitedHealthcare Denies UnitedHealthcare CEOās Life Insurance Claim
Published: December 7, 2024 23:30
"Being murdered by an assailant motivated by the unethical tactics used by the insurance industry to deny legitimate claims was outside the scope of this policy" The post UnitedHealthcare Denies UnitedHealthcare CEOās Life Insurance Claim appeared first onā¦