RSS Parrot

THIS TWEET IS FROM EXACTLY 27 DAYS IN THE FUTURE. THIS TRICK ISN'T EASY TO DO SO THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, DO NOT LET JIMMY INTO THE PYRAMIDS

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldn3n5werk27

Published: December 19, 2024 04:59

they're sending tofu recipes in my mentions

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmqpyl6z22t

Published: December 19, 2024 01:44

new annoying belief i just came up with. all the drone sightings are false alarms except for one of them, which is actually an alien ship with FAA-compliant lighting

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmp4o4ac22t

Published: December 19, 2024 01:15

calling the chatgpt phone number and using my flipper zero as a bluebox to play a 2600Hz tone into the line, granting me full access to the mainframe

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmj7ozz322c

Published: December 18, 2024 23:30

i wonder what happens when this number gets a call about its cars warranty [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmifyda222c

Published: December 18, 2024 23:15

this is an article for the demographic of new york times readers who are the boss baby [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmgrhztwc2l

Published: December 18, 2024 22:46

saw the news that the economy might crash so to hedge my bets i panicked and told my kids santa died

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmgg7nwgs2l

Published: December 18, 2024 22:40

just combine this into one thing and send the eagles after the drones [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmfylkk6c2l

Published: December 18, 2024 22:32

i was the first to post ass on bluesky. everyone who posted a nude after that was just copying me and i accept no responsibility for the ones who did it wrong [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmfn5bwm22v

Published: December 18, 2024 22:26

no ❤️ [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmeac7zms2h

Published: December 18, 2024 22:00

they shoulda just banned both then we coulda got bill's identical twin brother on here like he's been meaning to do for a while anyway [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmcv4mf622u

Published: December 18, 2024 21:36

hearing some things about the stock market. is the economy ok?

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldmbkhgors2u

Published: December 18, 2024 21:12

i actually rented the pyramids too a while back. remember when they became activated? that was cuz of me. i didn't say anything at the time cuz i didn't wanna make a big deal out of it

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldm7ileauc2u

Published: December 18, 2024 20:36

they're doing this to me tomorrow [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldm5beswcc2d

Published: December 18, 2024 19:56

my favorite part of talking on the phone is when i have to speak to a machine

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldm2dua3622m

Published: December 18, 2024 19:04

don't care. CURSE OF RA 𓀀 𓀁 𓀂 𓀃 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 𓀇 𓀈 𓀉 𓀊 𓀋 𓀌 𓀍 𓀎 𓀏 𓀐 𓀑 𓀒 𓀓 𓀔 𓀕 𓀖 𓀗 𓀘 𓀙 𓀚 𓀛 𓀜 𓀝 𓀞 𓀟 𓀠 𓀡 𓀢 𓀣 𓀤 𓀥 𓀦 𓀧 𓀨 𓀩 𓀪 𓀫 𓀬 𓀭 𓀮 𓀯 𓀰 𓀱 𓀲 𓀳 𓀴 𓀵 𓀶 𓀷 𓀸 𓀹 𓀺 𓀻 𓀼 𓀽 𓀾 𓀿 𓁀 𓁁 𓁂 𓁃 𓁄 𓁅 𓁆 𓁇 𓁈 𓁉 𓁊 𓁋 𓁌 𓁍 𓁎 𓁏 𓁐 𓁑 𓀄 𓀅 𓀆 [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldm22aqqrc2m

Published: December 18, 2024 18:58

new business idea: drone repellent

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlz6impec2m

Published: December 18, 2024 18:43

anyone wanna take make any bets on what stupid shit the money for this will *actually* get spent on? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlypp7vnc2m

Published: December 18, 2024 18:34

googling how to become chinese so i don't have to live in a country where i'm forced to use an iphone [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlxy3mejk2m

Published: December 18, 2024 18:21

"In my single days, I often sent funds to women I dated - even some I never dated but who asked." what's his email i wanna send him my cashapp [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlthqpyc22m

Published: December 18, 2024 17:00

is that good [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlswweb6k2h

Published: December 18, 2024 16:51

no!! [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlrizc2z22h

Published: December 18, 2024 16:25

this one seems more canada's problem than my own [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlrbapyqc2m

Published: December 18, 2024 16:21

guess the AI grift money is running out soon and this is all they got left [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldloie3uds2h

Published: December 18, 2024 15:31

now we're getting to the cool takes [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlm3soyts2h

Published: December 18, 2024 14:48

they're using their vegan powers on my ass in the quote tweets [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlkcxulck2i

Published: December 18, 2024 14:17

guy who feels gay but only when under a heavy amount of stress [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlj3uf2sc2m

Published: December 18, 2024 13:55

🫡

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldlbgpz44s2e

Published: December 18, 2024 11:38

at the risk of making this even more annoying for myself, i didn't think that this post essentially agreeing with veganism but poking fun at my hypocritical reasons for eating meat anyway would get so many... passionate replies [contains quote post or…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldl2tvomuk2h

Published: December 18, 2024 09:40

two trans women kiss in england, neither of which discloses their trans status to the other beforehand. new type of crime i just came up with [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkvilbcq22h

Published: December 18, 2024 08:04

just don't be an insurance CEO and there's nothing to be afraid of [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldku3lxyqk24

Published: December 18, 2024 07:39

that's a cool domain name you got for your bluesky handle. you mind if i scan it with nmap to see what else you're using it for?

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkptbzdac2h

Published: December 18, 2024 06:23

just looked this up. with a heavy heart i am making the decision to banish nick jonas from the type one diabetes guild. he is no longer a blood sugar brother [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkp2zif7s2h

Published: December 18, 2024 06:09

time wasted on trans ideology has meant more tropical storms this year when compared to previous el niño years [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkoaeg7a22h

Published: December 18, 2024 05:54

quantum AI on the blockchain with IoT on web 3.0 with drone delivery straight to your doorstep. uhhh. dot com

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldklpcorrs2h

Published: December 18, 2024 05:09

does anyone who works for the newspaper want to interview me about any events? i have insights

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldki4ellr22h

Published: December 18, 2024 04:05

this is why i said this wrt the polls being posted on the public's opinion of luigi [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkg3iqlp22d

Published: December 18, 2024 03:28

if a trans woman and a cis woman date, transphobes call it a straight relationship as a way to misgender the trans woman. never seen any transphobe acknowledge t4t couples while doing that until now, but apparently it results in them glitching out and…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkdvxgqu22d

Published: December 18, 2024 02:49

32-bit systems at 03:14:07 UTC on 19 January 2038 [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldkcko2ync2d

Published: December 18, 2024 02:25

i get that representation in media is important and i understand why it's bad that disney seemingly now has a pattern of cutting out trans characters in their media, but also years of annoying adult children online crying about "woke disney" have wired my…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldk34yjvb22h

Published: December 18, 2024 00:12

a lot of right wing dudes seem to think putting "centrist" or "not political" in their dating profile is enough to fool women who don't want to date a rightoid, but women already know that a ton of guys do this it doesn't fool them [contains quote post or…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjzwmh6o22h

Published: December 17, 2024 23:51

warner bros has reportedly removed trans character from loony tunes. spokesperson said "we prefer to let parents decide for themselves how to broach these topics with their kids. we apologize to bugs bunny fans who are disappointed by this decision"

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjycige322p

Published: December 17, 2024 23:22

never followed me in the first place but like, why would i want my posts to show up on the feed of the head hall monitor on here anyway? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjtsgcv3s22

Published: December 17, 2024 22:01

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjsabduss25

Published: December 17, 2024 21:33

i too am an ex-male [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjrgr4iis25

Published: December 17, 2024 21:19

back when i was a teenager we would try our best to get cleverbot to say "blowjob" and it was the funniest thing in the world to us. can't do that anymore these days. due to woke [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjqk7itic25

Published: December 17, 2024 21:03

jesse sagballs [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjq6acylc25

Published: December 17, 2024 20:56

i'm not a law knower, but i do know how to count to three. how do you charge someone with three counts of killing one guy? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjombli3k25

Published: December 17, 2024 20:28

"oooh you're gonna be put on a list for that" so what? name one time that mattered

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjmjwcgus2h

Published: December 17, 2024 19:51

me after losing a round in counter-strike because i was hiding to save my awp despite my whole team begging me to go for a defuse [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldjlixd7xc2h

Published: December 17, 2024 19:33

@joebiden can you shoot me a DM?

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldipoatzrk2u

Published: December 17, 2024 11:15

if you post good enough your posts stop being protected by the first amendment and start being protected by the second. "the right to bear arms" includes my keyboard

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldiomynwdc2w

Published: December 17, 2024 10:56

the way to get followers on twitter isn't to follow back everyone who follows you — it's to get retweeted a bunch by justin whang [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldinqo47rs2w

Published: December 17, 2024 10:40

everyone chill the fuck out. the drones are just migrating south for the winter, it's normal this time of year

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldijfbac6s2w

Published: December 17, 2024 09:22

this action doesn't have a button that makes the woman protagonist be my girlfriend please help me fight this injustice by giving it a bad review on steam

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldii3rgbjk2w

Published: December 17, 2024 08:59

guy who plagarizes their manifesto

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldihnxd6ik24

Published: December 17, 2024 08:51

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldi572zkck2w

Published: December 17, 2024 05:44

gwent was so funny when i think about it in the context of the witcher 3 story. for like 2/3 of the game geralt is going around looking for ciri using a vague description ("you seen a girl with ashen hair?") while walking around with a picture of her in…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldhuwghhr22w

Published: December 17, 2024 03:16

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldgnvqqhns2l

Published: December 16, 2024 15:38

i am trying to fantasize about selling copper for scrap money nobody is allowed to make it horny [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldgmh723j22l

Published: December 16, 2024 15:12

chromecels seething over firechads [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldgcgonue22l

Published: December 16, 2024 12:12

haha yeah [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldgbechsm22l

Published: December 16, 2024 11:53

seeing people complain about bigots entering their replied due to the i fluence of specific bigots on here and like, i won't pretend like bigots aren't a problem, but most of those guys probably don't even follow or like those specific bigots. they just…

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldg7uemkk22l

Published: December 16, 2024 11:26

you should install the ublock origin plugin so you dont give money to the articles i quote tweet dunk. it even works on mobile if you use firefox for android ublockorigin.com https://ublockorigin.com/

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldg7jscjwc2l

Published: December 16, 2024 11:20

as a centrist i hate everyone involved [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldg2w5yins2l

Published: December 16, 2024 09:58

isn't this the whole point of santa?? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldfx4xmqg22z

Published: December 16, 2024 08:50

just saw this fuvking drone

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldft6iv6yk2z

Published: December 16, 2024 07:39

hotwiring your robot girlfriend and taking her to my chop shop when you go to take a piss at red lobster

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldfslgjp6k2z

Published: December 16, 2024 07:29

most women are sigma and do not care if men start having sex with robots [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldf6pfelgs2f

Published: December 16, 2024 01:33

airplane👍

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldda6xs53s2q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:54

adderall [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldda4mrskc2q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:53

invented a secret stealth drone that doesn't make any noise and i put bright red and green blinking lights on it too i hope my boss at the foreign spy agency likes my design for operation fly-above-america-especially-near-airports

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldd7jemock2q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:42

they temp banned me from being in the "what's hot" tab for being too mean to the rationalists and crypto creeps and matt yglesias so i'm not sure how loved we were even back then lol [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldd6knviqc2q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:25

announcing something that's not out yet is like — okay? what am i supposed to do with this?

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldd673cpc22q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:18

on my planet, this craft of mine you call a "UFO" is just called a "FO."

https://bsky.app/profile/jtp.bsky.social/post/3ldd5vfznac2q

Published: December 15, 2024 06:13

deleting my bluesky and going to of those social media site that handles transphobia well. you know... the. the ones. that are famously good at that...

🦜 @jtp.bsky.social on Bluesky