RSS Parrot

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqfe4wr65s2a

Published: May 30, 2025 13:37

A guy sits down at a bar. "Is everything okay?" the bartender asks. “My wife and I got into a fight and she said she wasn't going to talk to me for a month." The bartender says, "Well, maybe that's a good thing... a little peace and quiet?" "Yeah but…

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqdngp75222s

Published: May 29, 2025 21:19

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqdie7l5ys2s

Published: May 29, 2025 19:48

I'M SO OLD that I've loaded film into a Kodak camera, wound it forward after every shot… And waited a week to find out my thumb was in the frame!

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqcug6nt5k2b

Published: May 29, 2025 13:51

Not saying it has been windy AF, but my wheelie bin is on a Speed Awareness course on Friday!!

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqcg6mkyb22b

Published: May 29, 2025 09:36

A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt. Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqba3d4zrc2i

Published: May 28, 2025 22:14

My wife just put on her new dress and then told me to zip it. I have no idea what l've done wrong. I didn't say anything!

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqb2onbffc2q

Published: May 28, 2025 20:38

THINGS I'M NO LONGER INTERESTED IN: 1 Driving at night 2 Leaving my house at night 3 Driving in the winter 4. Leaving the house in winter 5. Driving 6 Leaving the house

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqb2e2sz4s2q

Published: May 28, 2025 20:32

I'm not a magician but I once turned a back rub into two kids and a mortgage.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqaaaeerhc2s

Published: May 28, 2025 12:45

I was out with my young daughter and ran into a friend l'd not seen in years. "This is Beth." I said, introducing my kid. "And what's Beth short for?" he asked. "Because she's only three," I replied.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lqa33nzxbs2a

Published: May 28, 2025 11:12

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She replied, "Nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace." So, I brought her nothing.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq6mng2pbc2c

Published: May 27, 2025 21:21

I asked my wife how to turn Alexa off. She said: "How about walking through the room naked?"

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq6ks3xe3k2c

Published: May 27, 2025 20:48

So I said to the vicar: "This is a lovely old church vicar". He said: "It's Norman". I said: "Oh right, this is a lovely old church Norman".

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq5wp3b2y22c

Published: May 27, 2025 14:48

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq5tf3dltc2o

Published: May 27, 2025 13:49

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don't rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq5od2m7rc2o

Published: May 27, 2025 12:19

You know you're getting old when you look at the clock to see if it's late enough to go to bed.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq5eimpf2c2j

Published: May 27, 2025 09:23

I told my boss, "Sorry I'm late. I was having computer issues." Boss: Hard drive? Me: No, the commute was fine. It's my laptop.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq44gdtjuk2y

Published: May 26, 2025 21:26

It's my wife's birthday next week and she's been leaving jewelry catalogs all over our house. So I got her a magazine rack.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq3vvacvns2u

Published: May 26, 2025 19:29

Sometimes I wake up grumpy. But other times I let her sleep in.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq3pn6zqo22m

Published: May 26, 2025 17:37

I tried out one of those apps that show you what you look like as an old person. It’s called Camera.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq3ohrb6yk2m

Published: May 26, 2025 17:16

Being abducted by aliens might just be the vacation I need at this point.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq3go3fxl22k

Published: May 26, 2025 14:56

My wife says that I wasted money by ordering a 3 meter wide frame for our wedding photo. Well I think she should look at the bigger picture.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq2yskdjmc2k

Published: May 26, 2025 10:48

If you don't swear while driving, you aren't paying enough attention to the road.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lq2uccfb3s2k

Published: May 26, 2025 09:28

I was upset when my neighbor put a fence around his swimming pool. But then I got over it.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpzhozyf2k23

Published: May 25, 2025 20:09

The worst pub I've ever been in was called The Fiddle. It was a vile inn.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpzbl47h5k2r

Published: May 25, 2025 18:20

As an American, I'm tired of people saying America is the stupidest country in the world... personally, I think Europe is the stupidest country in the world.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpz6p52utc2v

Published: May 25, 2025 17:28

I'm in search for someone to assist with milking cows on my dairy farm. Must work well with udders.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpyv5rxw722g

Published: May 25, 2025 14:38

People tell me that my grammar stinks. That's really harsh. She's 101, bless her.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpyv3waj5s2g

Published: May 25, 2025 14:37

Sadly, I do most of my proof reading after I hit sned.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpyulg7pvc2w

Published: May 25, 2025 14:27

"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpye2ku6fs2a

Published: May 25, 2025 09:32

I will be posting telepathically today. So if you think of something funny…that was me.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpxaorwdqc2v

Published: May 24, 2025 22:59

For those who don't want Alexa listening in on your conversations, they're making a male version... it doesn't listen to anything.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpxab2lunc2v

Published: May 24, 2025 22:51

I said to my wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." She replied, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpxa3gwvts2v

Published: May 24, 2025 22:48

I said to my wife, "My Olympic condoms have arrived. I think I'll wear gold tonight." She replied, "Why not wear silver and come second for a change?"

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpx7hj7grs2v

Published: May 24, 2025 22:37

A hacker got into my bank account and left me a note: "Please save more money, this was a complete waste of my time".

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpwwmwp3js2c

Published: May 24, 2025 19:59

If you die and get cremated, you can be put into an hourglass and still be included in family game night

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpvtrlybik23

Published: May 24, 2025 09:35

If a man is in the middle of nowhere and there isn't a woman around, is he still wrong?

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpvsrcukec23

Published: May 24, 2025 09:17

Someone tried to sell me a coffin today. I said that's the last thing I need.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpulsyps2c2w

Published: May 23, 2025 21:40

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpt7xl47o225

Published: May 23, 2025 08:35

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpt77hg7ns25

Published: May 23, 2025 08:22

My neighbour just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

https://bsky.app/profile/dadsaysjokes.com/post/3lpt5kwgbuc25

Published: May 23, 2025 07:52

The most terrifying moment in life is when the toilet refuses to flush at someone else's house.