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Site URL: www.thebeaverton.com
Feed URL: www.thebeaverton.com/feed
Posts: 9
Followers: 211
Trump demands all Americans chip in $20 to send to Russia
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/10/trump-demands-all-americans-chip-in-20-to-send-to-russia/
Published: October 11, 2026 18:02
CLARKSVILLE, TN – During a midterm campaign rally, U.S. President Donald Trump thrilled his supporters by ordering them, as well as every other American, to personally mail $20 to Russian President Vladimir Putin to fund his invasion of Ukraine. “Look, I’m…
Doug Ford vows to protect Ontario’s vulnerable crony industry
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/10/doug-ford-vows-to-protect-ontarios-vulnerable-crony-industry/
Published: October 10, 2026 15:51
QUEEN’S PARK – Ontario Premier Doug Ford has promised that despite the ongoing economic uncertainty in the province, which he constantly exacerbates by responding to US President Donald Trump’s barbs, he will work hard to protect jobs in the province’s…
Pete Hegseth carefully weighing whether livestreamed execution will be sponsored by FanDuel or Nashville Fried Chicken Doritos
Published: October 9, 2026 21:09
WASHINGTON D.C. – Addressing the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth carefully laid out a variety of options for which brand would sponsor his upcoming livestreamed public execution. “Gentlemen, and I do mean men, this is a vitally…
Charming 1980s playground has body count higher than Dahmer
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/10/charming-1980s-playground-has-body-count-higher-than-dahmer/
Published: October 9, 2026 15:42
EDMONTON — Local historians say a quaint suburban playground from the early 1980s is responsible for more deaths than infamous American serial killer and cannibal Jeffrey Dahmer. The un-named playground located in Edmonton’s Parkallen neighbourhood appears…
Furious Trump rails against Canadian Anne Carson winning Nobel Prize in Literature
Published: October 8, 2026 18:56
WASHINGTON D.C. – Following the announcement of Canadian poet Anne Carson as this year’s Nobel Prize in Literature recipient, President Donald Trump unleashed an online tirade insisting he was more deserving of the prize. In a screed posted online Trump…
Desperate Brad Bradford adds another Brad to his name
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/10/desperate-brad-bradford-adds-another-brad-to-his-name/
Published: October 7, 2026 23:38
TORONTO – Election day in Toronto is fast approaching, and polls continue to show Mayor Olivia Chow with a lead over challenger Brad Bradford. So, in a desperate effort to court the bland, middle-aged, white vote, Bradford is quadrupling down. “My…
Polymarket offering bets on next produce that gives everyone diarrhea
Published: October 7, 2026 17:52
NEW YORK – With a recall issued for Taylor Farms lettuce in the wake of a cyclospora outbreak, several new betting lines have opened up in the online predictions market Polymarket as to which line of contaminated produce will be the next to evade health…
Parti Québécois finally finds minority it likes
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2026/10/parti-quebecois-finally-finds-minority-it-likes/
Published: October 6, 2026 13:18
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier-designate Paul St-Pierre Plamondon says he’ll be updating his list of problem minorities after networks declared The Parti Québécois will form government with the support of at least one of the other opposition parties. “When…
Trump admin demands Canada not meddle in midterms so they can meddle in separatist referendums
Published: October 5, 2026 14:38
WASHINGTON D.C. – Trump Administration trade advisor Peter Navarro is accusing Canada of interfering in the upcoming U.S. midterm elections, unfairly distracting from American efforts to interfere in Alberta and Quebec separatist efforts. “It’s utterly…