🦜 @jonbois.bsky.social on Bluesky
@bsky.app.profile.jonbois.bsky.social@rss-parrot.net
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jon
Your feed and you don't want it here? Just
e-mail the birb.
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5p2jwrwgk22
Published: November 15, 2025 20:40
the silver lining about taking a tough loss in a college football game is that at least it was only a practice game. the actual football games don't start until tomorrow
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5ovval6a22e
Published: November 15, 2025 19:17
they’re sounding the air raid sirens at the kibbie dome as dabo swinney and his boys keep putting a hat on a hat down in the swamp
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5n2kx3kds2n
Published: November 15, 2025 01:35
the last name of every sopranos character is sopranos. chris sopranos, adriana sopranos, furio sopranos, tony soprano sopranos, etc
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5mg6q7f3w2i
Published: November 14, 2025 19:30
okay, that just about does it
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5m3ahcf6c2t
Published: November 14, 2025 16:15
i think the two greatest bands of all time are the isley brothers and talk talk. times like this i wish i was even 1% good at writing about music so i could offer a better defense of this than “c’mon they’re really good bands”
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5lytmf6g22c
Published: November 14, 2025 15:32
[11 simultaneous notifications] We’re sorry. The data-harvesting software associated with some Bluetooth thing you connected that you didn’t know about because we didn’t tell you about it failed to install. Please go to our weird site.
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5gzetg4622h
Published: November 12, 2025 15:58
as much as i disagree with his politics, i do think the next james bond should be adam carolla. interested in hearing everyone else's thoughts though
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5fu3nqg3c23
Published: November 12, 2025 04:51
chuck schumer has been barred from formally observing this year's lexus december to remember sales event. they can't stop him from standing outside, but he will not be allowed into the showroom and he cannot directly behold the obelisk or participate in…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5etoi4k7c2o
Published: November 11, 2025 19:11
the bond franchise has already encountered and solved this problem
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https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5a2tksmys2e
Published: November 9, 2025 21:35
this is the play in which sheldon rankins conjured a scorigami out of absolutely nothing. 30-29 had happened plenty of times and so had 37-29. scorigami only happened because the refs didn't make them stick around for the extra point
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https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5a2la3ym22a
Published: November 9, 2025 21:31
sheldon rankins, you have achieved a SCORIGAMI
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m57wf4bz6c23
Published: November 9, 2025 20:16
not only am i a guy who likes to watch football, but i'm also a dad. so right off the jump i'm already one of the most fascinating people you've ever heard of. and that's before you find out that i live in brooklyn and post on bluesky a lot
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m57pfe4rec2y
Published: November 9, 2025 18:11
i love it when something is by dint of something else. i tell all my friends, don’t text me about shit unless it’s by dint of some other shit
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m57i5p47oc2y
Published: November 9, 2025 16:01
watching the falcons
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m5625uzecs2x
Published: November 9, 2025 02:18
eating some thai curry ribs with sticky rice and watching predator
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m55naz5q3227
Published: November 8, 2025 22:27
ice cubes are ridiculous. like yeah lemme just get a piece of water
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m55c3kyxz22t
Published: November 8, 2025 19:07
colleges are a lot like beers, in that it doesn’t really matter which one you pick. they’re all equally good and indistinguishable from one another
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4ygwnrltc2j
Published: November 6, 2025 20:51
i heard the sandwich guy was acquitted. i bet he went up to the judge and said "i'll have an acquittal sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes!" or something like that. i'm just kidding, i doubt he did that. this post is just for fun really
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4ubnwdgyk2o
Published: November 5, 2025 05:06
one time pitcher john denny knocked reggie jackson down with a brushback pitch. next time up reggie blasted a moonshot home run off him. denny kept chirping at him as he rounded the bases and wouldn't stop, so reggie stepped on home, charged the mound and…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4tzccb3o22s
Published: November 5, 2025 02:36
zohran won
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4ty5rmsys2k
Published: November 5, 2025 02:15
i wanted to be mayor. i would have run for mayor if i knew there was going to be an election. do another one
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4qiu5ktfk2b
Published: November 3, 2025 17:04
THE HISTORY OF CHARGING THE MOUND
episode 1 up now
https://www.patreon.com/posts/history-of-mound-142701187
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4qav5yh422o
Published: November 3, 2025 14:41
i don't click on new york post articles but i can't honestly say it's because of any principled stand. it's because it has so many ads that if you let it all load the page weight is around 2 gigs. you could load one article claiming that sidewalks are bad…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4o63xpqgk23
Published: November 2, 2025 18:46
voted for zohran again
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4mlhhm2d22c
Published: November 2, 2025 03:40
pretty interesting ballgame they've got going on tonight
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4ml4sigjc2z
Published: November 2, 2025 03:34
time for a world series walkoff hbp
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4mkrvoc222i
Published: November 2, 2025 03:28
i haven't seen a capital one commercial in a while. maybe they could sneak one in between pitches here
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4mcay6mc22j
Published: November 2, 2025 00:55
i bet a lot of these players have been playing baseball since they were kids. that’s probably a big reason why they’re so good. if you learn this kind of stuff when you’re young it gives you a big head start
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4mblt2yz22j
Published: November 2, 2025 00:43
game 7 is the least important game of the world series because the season’s over at the end of the season either way. they only play it so that someone can feel like they won
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4m3vo3eak2j
Published: November 1, 2025 23:01
they’re calling the hogs in happy valley as dabo swinney and his boys have put the big ten on notice down in the swamp
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4jzszhxvk2g
Published: November 1, 2025 03:19
q: why did the outfielders raise their arms during this play?
a: according to the ancient scrolls in which the rules of baseball were found, if a ball lands and doesn't bounce that ball is declared god. the players were worshipping god. i doubt there will…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4jtyrwshs2r
Published: November 1, 2025 01:34
i would love to play center field when a no-doubt 430-foot home run is hit and run into the outfield wall at a dead sprint. as the camera cinematically pans up to follow the ball you briefly see me in the corner of the screen absolutely eating shit
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4jku5hwkk2t
Published: October 31, 2025 22:51
BOO!
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4epqbnw422j
Published: October 30, 2025 00:35
outfielders have to be the worst farmers i've ever seen. what are you doing out there? get to work
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4dxrjjbfs23
Published: October 29, 2025 17:26
🚫 NO DMS 🚫 NO CRYPTO 🚫 NO TELLING ME THAT SOMETHING IS "BOFA" 🚫 NO SLEIGHT OF HAND TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS THOUGH YOU HAVE PULLED A QUARTER OUT OF MY EAR 🚫 NO PRETENDING TO HAVE "GOTTEN MY NOSE" 🚫 NO ASKING ME "PETE AND RE-PEAT WERE IN A BOAT, PETE FELL OUT,…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4dn4owkn22l
Published: October 29, 2025 14:15
if the blue jays win the world series, they will need to ensure that every member of their roster is at least 21 years old before celebrating with champagne. this is because the legal drinking age in canada is 21, with the exception of quebec, where the…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4cgkfd3u22n
Published: October 29, 2025 02:45
i don't understand why they're called the toronto blue jays and not the toronto baseballs. i'll never understand it. same with the dodgers, they should be called the baseballs too. more people should be like me and speak out when they see that something is…
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4ab5kezxc24
Published: October 28, 2025 06:03
oh no, the fox broadcast is zooming in on normal food in the stadium somewhere while the broadcasters say "that looks good to eat." they're developing Regular Season Madness
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4a7s7gloc2c
Published: October 28, 2025 05:39
one-out popups with runners in scoring position are unfortunate, but if you hit one at least 50 feet high you are awarded 100 in-game credits that can be spent on sunflower seeds or gum in the dugout shop. that explains most of these
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m4a6t6d6bc2e
Published: October 28, 2025 05:22
just went to @stathead.com again. shohei tonight is the only guy ever to record 12+ total bases and 3 walks in the regular season or playoffs. it has never happened before in major league baseball
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m47xg5ufyc2h
Published: October 28, 2025 03:09
according to @stathead.com a batter has had at least 12 total bases in a playoff game 17 times in baseball history. two of them are shohei tonight and shohei 10 days ago
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m47qkrq5rk2a
Published: October 28, 2025 01:06
it seems like there are more and more world series each and every year
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m47f6axswk2t
Published: October 27, 2025 21:42
went to the store
https://bsky.app/profile/jonbois.bsky.social/post/3m473ygwbo22t
Published: October 27, 2025 18:58
usually if you at least throw the ball somewhere, the officials will go ahead and award you a touchdown. not this time, probably due to some combination of the refs being rattled by the opposing crowd and being on the take themselves
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