RSS Parrot

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lnavxgzjhc2q

Published: April 20, 2025 14:58

"The antidote: $1,000" "Do not remove under penalty of torture." "You in bed with in bed. In bed." "Winning lotto numbers: 69, 420, 666, 80085." "Are you SURE you turned the stove off before going out?" "DIY confetti! Have a party anywhere!" My…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lnanxdpqc22q

Published: April 20, 2025 12:34

So... which of those two guys got crucified on the Pibbcifix? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lnanmbpbkc2q

Published: April 20, 2025 12:28

A single person having more guns than the entire government is a very normal thing to want (especially for Jesus) and also totally doable. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln7ve6fb722g

Published: April 20, 2025 05:14

As the prophecy foretold. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln7vcbgggs2g

Published: April 20, 2025 05:13

Bunker Rule No. 3: When things look glum, vote 31. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln7kswqeu226

Published: April 20, 2025 02:06

Fun Fact: "Itsy Bitsy Spider" was originally a dirty sailor song called "Itchy Bitchy Spider" and the whole bit about climbing "up the water spout" was a metaphor for unprotected sex. The more you know!

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Published: April 19, 2025 13:49

Bunker Rule No. 2: If they don't tell you what exactly you're eating, it's people. It's always people. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 19, 2025 13:47

Post-nut shame is one hell of a drug. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln6bfspfcs24

Published: April 19, 2025 13:45

ME (who is currently stuffing his face with white chocolate) your point? [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln5zxuvfek24

Published: April 19, 2025 11:31

"YOU HAVE REACHED THE END OF CAKE." - Terry Pratchett, "Night Watch"

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Published: April 19, 2025 05:59

Jesus fuck, John, the money couldn't have been THAT good. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln5dgp7w7k24

Published: April 19, 2025 04:48

Just dawned on me that I can't remember a single thing about Ahsoka. When it comes to TV, being forgettable is about 100 times worse than being bad. People talk about bad TV. You can hate/riff watch bad TV. But what the hell am I supposed to do with…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln5cyhjflk24

Published: April 19, 2025 04:40

If you can hang out with friends, you should be able to hang in with enemies.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln56smmia224

Published: April 19, 2025 03:25

I could put together a 200-person conference on "Uuuugh... I dunno, you want to talk about Bane? Justified? We can also hang out and eat pizza and talk about how gloriously fucked up modern cartoons are or something..." [contains quote post or other…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln56orda6k24

Published: April 19, 2025 03:23

Hey, they paid for the entire car so they're going to use the ENTIRE car. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln547jzrm22i

Published: April 19, 2025 02:39

The Pontiac Aztek was a bakkushan. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 19, 2025 02:15

Shit-ass people for whom I had nothing but the deepest contempt started going on unprompted rants about trans people, so that was my first clue. Then it was a mixture of basic human empathy and befriending a few trans people on social media. The…

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Published: April 19, 2025 01:59

When someone asks me about my interests: [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 19, 2025 01:43

This looks like it was done in MS Paint. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 16:08

You know you're a Republican Christian when you mock a man trying to get a person thrown into a gulag without due process on Good Friday. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 16:04

Prescriptivists will read this and say with a straight face: "Yes, Mark Twain, Charlotte Brontë, and James Joyce were wrong. They did language wrong." [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln3wp2t4qs2l

Published: April 18, 2025 15:28

If you try to say the word "breast" while sucking on a breast, it may sometimes come out as "bust," which is basically a synonym for "breast." Checkmate, atheists.

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Published: April 18, 2025 14:05

I predict in the before time that this will happen. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 12:57

I promise I'll stop feeding the beast starting now but I just had to know how far I can take this. Apparently this far. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 10:31

Since it's the UK, I expect something in the grand old tradition of a license. A Woman's License, if you will. It's going to be a total shitshow. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln3entdd6k23

Published: April 18, 2025 10:05

I've been considering the idea of Toilet Clothes for years now. Japan does toilet-only slippers so why not other clothing too? I keep my toilet spotless but it's still where people shit and piss. I don't want those particles on the same clothes I wear at…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln3dgyhb4s23

Published: April 18, 2025 09:43

Ah shit, it happened again and I missed it? Oh well, in case anyone is listening: some British food is Good, Actually (C). British cheeses are amazing. Yes, yes, they aren't the same as pre-war cheeses because the original recipes were lost but what we…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln3d7utquc23

Published: April 18, 2025 09:39

The more Pratchett is adapted into various media, the closer we get to a high-budget, faithful live-action TV show about the City Watch. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 08:23

It is our moral and ethical imperative to sell J.K. Rowling an "invisible diamond" that can only be seen by "real biological women" for $1 billion.

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Published: April 18, 2025 07:59

LMAO. Possibly even ROTFL. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 06:34

Charlie could technically have him imprisoned in the tower. I'm pretty sure he still has that right. This would singlehandedly make everyone in the UK a staunch royalist and rehabilitate the country on the global stage. [contains quote post or other…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln2xendyps2m

Published: April 18, 2025 06:07

Turns out steampunk was real. Huh. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 05:30

Still trying to get the courts to say he wasn't owned. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 18, 2025 05:09

Bukele is a sociopathic fascist but he's also something other yet equally dangerous. He's an idiot with power who thinks he's smart. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln2tjep4is2m

Published: April 18, 2025 04:58

This is one of the greatest things I've ever seen. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 17, 2025 23:34

"Eastern Promises" mentioned! Like seeing a rainbow. Today's going to be a good day. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 17, 2025 23:15

Changing your first name to that of the Beatles' bass guitarist is appaulling.

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Published: April 17, 2025 22:24

In the US, AI is synonymous with slop, environmental destruction, and IP theft. But in Japan, AI means love.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3ln24rkbsr22m

Published: April 17, 2025 22:11

The real tragedy of King Kong and Godzilla is that they are an anti-monarchist and an atheist, respectively.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmzbl7vmps2c

Published: April 17, 2025 14:04

How to become rich: 1. Buy pallets of those modeler grass tufts. 2. Sell them as goblin and/or troll merkins for triple the price. 3. There is no Step 3.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmz52ulqts2p

Published: April 17, 2025 12:44

"I personally would just escape the Hell Gulag by tunneling to the neighboring cell, befriending a wise priest who tells me the location of a hidden treasure, and then escaping by posing as a corpse thrown into the sea from a cliff. I mean obviously it…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmz4d66wck2p

Published: April 17, 2025 12:30

There once was one name that every samurai feared: Oda, as in Oda "Demon King" Nobunaga. Interestingly, around the same time, there was a name that nobody feared, and it was also Oda, as in Oda Ujiharu, "the weakest samurai lord ever." Here's why I admire…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmywu2btxk2p

Published: April 17, 2025 10:52

Look, don't ask me how I know it, because I will not have my dietary adventures questioned by online strangers, but I just discovered that Gorgonzola pairs *really* well with coconut. Coconut water, coconut milk, coconut flakes - all amazing with…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmyvoblos22p

Published: April 17, 2025 10:31

Also: - Star Trek: The Next Generation - Parks and Recreation - Blackadder - Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmytg4h77s2p

Published: April 17, 2025 09:51

"So cheer up, trans people. If you work hard enough, one day you may live the kind of life *we* want you to have. Well, 'want' is a strong word. It's more like the kind of life we don't terribly mind you having. Maybe. For now." [contains quote post or…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmyq7c4v6k2h

Published: April 17, 2025 08:53

There's something weirdly poetic (or is it ironic?) for Rowling to quote the A-Team, which was so chauvinistic, its cast (or at least George "Hannibal" Peppard and Dirk "Faceman" Benedict) successfully bullied two regular female cast members off the show. …

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmylwopbdk2q

Published: April 17, 2025 07:37

Birmingham has more canals than Venice. That is all. Try and continue with your lives, if you can.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmylspjlts2q

Published: April 17, 2025 07:35

Inefficient. You could just say "There are no vaccinated, adult dire wolves on K2-18b." [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 17, 2025 07:31

Then: "Are you chewing gum? Well I hope you brought enough for the whole class!" Now: "Why are so many people today socialists?"

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmygedtmac2q

Published: April 17, 2025 05:57

Legitimately scarier than many horror movies. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 17, 2025 05:49

Not even joking when I say that we will need Nuremberg Trials: The Sequel after all of this is done. If the world survives.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmydi2qikk2q

Published: April 17, 2025 05:06

I often bring up a similar argument when explaining why I hate "It's a Wonderful Life" and people always get mad at me because I ask: what about people who never changed the world or saved a life or even simply made someone happy? Are their lives…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmycxvcj3k2j

Published: April 17, 2025 04:57

- *makes fun of adults devoting their lives to a badly written children's book that also funds transphobia* - That is basically fascism! [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmycbjq33k2j

Published: April 17, 2025 04:44

My TV hot take is that we need to get rid of cliffhangers. Even if a show doesn't get canceled because it failed to break every viewing record in its 1st season (consisting of 8 episodes) it might still be killed off for a tax write-off. Just give us…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmyate2lds2q

Published: April 17, 2025 04:18

I figured out the big secret on #Severance! The reason why the guy in the office and in the outside world look the same is because they are both played by Adam Scott! Absolute art!

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Published: April 16, 2025 13:51

They're having another go at a badly-written slop that funds systemic transphobia when Rome was canceled after just two seasons and The Expanse was never filmed to the end. This fucking world. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmwo5rtpbc2j

Published: April 16, 2025 13:11

BTW, I did the rough math on this and I think there is close to 1,000 episodes of Star Trek in existence. Do people have any idea how blessed we are to live in a time when you have access to 1,000 episodes of Star Trek? What a time to be alive. Too bad…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmwmugxxzs2j

Published: April 16, 2025 12:48

Just finished Daredevil: Born Again! It's pretty mid. It lacks passion, drive, or whatever else you want to call someone behind this thing giving a shit. It feels like a paint-by-numbers piece. I'm tempted to write an article about the new definition of…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmw7jmed522j

Published: April 16, 2025 08:50

This is what supporting Harry Potter does. No hyperbole: if you buy anything Harry Potter related, you are actively funding systemic transphobia. Find another book. Preferably one that does not suck. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmvytooyak2j

Published: April 16, 2025 06:50

From the land of bullet trains, techno-tower skyscrapers, and staff-less automated stores, I bring you a report on... convenience-store print machines. They're actually super cool and capable of way more than you think. Details here: …

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmvxic5n2k2j

Published: April 16, 2025 06:26

If you can't handle me at my worst, yeah, that's fair. Same tbh.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmvx744m6s2j

Published: April 16, 2025 06:21

Alaska's Attu Island is so far west, it’s actually in the eastern hemisphere. Meaning that Alaska is both the easternmost and westernmost state in the US. Geography is weird.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmvao32mr22j

Published: April 15, 2025 23:37

TV series about a vampire-human couple where the vampire tries to get the human to eat healthier, drink more water, and exercise because a) that's their boo, b) their blood has started to taste... syrupy.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmu6fw3w4k2v

Published: April 15, 2025 13:24

Set photos of Momoa as #Lobo leak online! Hmmm... Good start but he needs to lose that coat ASAP. Lobo is a slutty little goth. He likes to show some skin.

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmu4egvyfc2v

Published: April 15, 2025 12:48

GET OUT THE LETTUCE! Trussmass is here again! [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmtxorx22c2j

Published: April 15, 2025 11:24

If Patrick Bateman was a house. Normal on the outside but soulless and dead on the inside. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmtxijhcdk2j

Published: April 15, 2025 11:20

The Tokyo Weekender frontpage currently features FIVE of my articles: - Unmasking Noh - Samurai Cops - How Akira Changed the Course of Dune: Part Two - The Dark History of Human Sacrifice in Japan - In’ei: The Master of the Crescent Spear Feels good to…

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Published: April 15, 2025 10:24

Every time this embalmed orange speaks, he sounds like he's waiting for laughter at the end. I hope that every time he doesn't get it, he pees himself a little out of anger. Incidentally, I ever tell you I have familial roots in Ukraine and pray daily to…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmtu25oux22j

Published: April 15, 2025 10:19

Recently saw someone asking for a "White Mirror" show that would celebrate all the good things that technological advancement can give humanity and, my brother in Kahless, there are ELEVEN Star Trek series and THIRTEEN movies. We're good. We're beyond…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmtsgbfjcc2j

Published: April 15, 2025 09:50

Come read my article about why Demon Mask Talismans should and *could* become everyday fashion. I also talk a little about the history and role of masks in Noh theater, if you're into that sort of thing. …

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmta6bhnws2a

Published: April 15, 2025 04:23

I remember when BBC's "The Watch," based on Pratchett's Discworld City Watch novels, was announced. I remember how excited I was. I still remember my realization that the show had an utter disregard bordering on *hatred* for the source material. The lesson…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmt5iw62es2a

Published: April 15, 2025 03:35

This is the Bluesky equivalent of those crushed Styrofoam cups that deep-sea oceanographers collect. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 15, 2025 03:32

"Just imagine the collective cheer in this country if state troopers pulled over, arrested and cuffed a van full of masked ICE fascists." There'd be a Leftist couple baby boom. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 15, 2025 01:30

Posting Godzilla and the greatest Godzilla kaiju ever: Biollante. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 15, 2025 01:28

Unironically cool and real cyberpunk of the Gibson variety. Love it. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 15, 2025 01:25

Like Ancient Rome, fascist dorks should be legally prohibited from liking objectively awesome stuff like geothermal energy. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 15, 2025 00:52

I tried 4 times to watch The Leftovers but couldn't get through the 1st episode. But I kept it on the To Watch list because I felt that I'd like the series if I was just in the right mood. Finally the mood came and I breezed through S1, which is close to…

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Published: April 14, 2025 22:48

Yes [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 14, 2025 10:46

Are you sleeping too soundly? Does the world feel insufficiently filled with horror? Do you still believe in a loving god? Then simply Google "What Does a Sick Giraffe Look Like?" Ask your priest, rabbi, imam, or other spiritual leader if Googling "What…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmqyecjgqc2f

Published: April 14, 2025 06:58

A year supply of birthday cakes is as many cakes as stars in our Solar System.

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Published: April 14, 2025 05:50

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 14, 2025 05:15

Make sure to get to context for this before getting mad. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 14, 2025 04:46

Hey so... I don't know why I suddenly noticed it but... why do so many TV characters knock instead of using the doorbell? Is this another American weirdness like not taking your shoes off inside the house that I just didn't know about? Are…

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Published: April 13, 2025 12:11

What every Cybertruck owner says to their car: [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 13, 2025 10:13

I had a joke about Hector's corpse but I mangled it. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 13, 2025 09:54

I had to watch *a lot* of fitness influencer videos lately for a job and I'm convinced Covid killed us and this is hell. The only way to stand out in that market is to say the most insane shit imaginable. One person claimed fruits were killing us. I imm.…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmoiqlwp422f

Published: April 13, 2025 07:13

Remember when Batman fought Shredder from TMNT, and it sounded kind of dumb but turned out to be one of the greatest things ever? Good times. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7W-XvNwp2O8

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Published: April 13, 2025 06:19

[contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 13, 2025 06:00

This is interesting but before any of that, I must know... Will the werewolf look like ass like in 99.99% of live-action werewolf movies (with the sole exception being Dog Soldiers)? That's really all I want. A non-ass-looking werewolf. Please? …

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmo5ozd7wc2f

Published: April 13, 2025 03:56

Nice argument, but unfortunately I already drew myself as a brave horseman with a sword and you as the dead teacher beneath my feet.

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Published: April 13, 2025 03:23

*burns my Steel and Kazaam DVDs* [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 13, 2025 03:01

OUT: a dozen roses IN: a dozen cups of mixed tomato paste [contains quote post or other embedded content]

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Published: April 13, 2025 03:00

Periodical reminder that there is a Japanese kanji that can be read as MAGA (禍) and means "evil, tragedy, disaster."

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Published: April 13, 2025 02:25

This is unacceptable. We must end the madness and return to the good old days when EVERYONE was allowed to sleep in their cars: rich, poor, employed, unemployed. That was true equality. That was freedom! *cries red-white-and-blue tears* [contains quote…

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Published: April 12, 2025 15:25

It honestly rules to love reading, movies, TV, history, gaming, cooking, and travel. I haven't felt bored in like 20 years. There is *always* something to do for every mood, weather, day of the week, financial situation. Fuck it feels good to have a bunch…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmms36salc2f

Published: April 12, 2025 14:55

The sound of a bald eagle you hear in movies is almost always actually that of a red-tailed hawk. That's because bald eagles sound NOTHING like what you think. Don't say I didn't warn you:

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Published: April 12, 2025 14:30

Every day I get called out on this site. And for that? I've done nothing wrong (that could be proven in a court of law). I do not deserve this. I'm a regular angel from heaven. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmm6stvqds2b

Published: April 12, 2025 09:10

"Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! "Bookseller"! How many times do I have to shout it before Hollywood makes that movie? Also, can Nick…

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmm64s43522b

Published: April 12, 2025 08:58

Uugh, that little bit of DMZ Kaliningrad looks so out of place. I propose Poland just takes over it. For aesthetic reasons. Other than that, no notes. [contains quote post or other embedded content]

https://bsky.app/profile/ostrichson.bsky.social/post/3lmm5pueadc2b

Published: April 12, 2025 08:51

The only true form of sci-fi: [contains quote post or other embedded content]